My Revelations 08/16/2012

So much negativity is all around me!! Ugh!! I am being dumped on this year with all kinds of emotional stress and Idc how "perfect" my life seems to people on the outside, from the inside I'm fighting a battle to keep my head clear and my focus on my faith to keep me from being bitter and negative 24/7.

I hate how the world has become so lost and careless towards each other. Our ancestors would turn in their graves if they saw how their family backstabs and treats each other now.

Hermits have the right idea... Hiding out sounds great sometimes. I wish I could just be me and be left alone and not get lonely. Or find people I can trust and believe in again.

Sad truth is I don't know anything anymore worth trusting. I'm so hurt by so many things that I don't dare trust anyone anymore.

What has happended to this generation?! What has happened to love, respect, and honor? I shouldn't have to worry about the things I do. I wish I could trust in God more to handle everything, but honestly some of the day to day stuff is my responsibility to do and I can pray for strength and pray that my trust in ppl comes back but im not sure things will ever be what they once were.

Gone is the day of innocent bliss. I'm an adult with scars to prove I've lived. I'm here and I'm alive. I have goals and I'm raising my girls up right. Everytime my girls jump and say "Yay! I want to see Jesus!!" I know that I have passed on the most important part of life that I know never fails.

Faith is the the truth you hold on to thru the storms that keeps you strong when you are weak. I don't know what I'll do if I ever lose sight of what little I have left in this life, but I am me. If people don't like how I am or talk poorly about me so be it, but it will dont damage my spirit!

What I have is far greater then worldly things that parish. I have something eternal to hold on to and I will NOT be afraid! I have my faith and my girls are watching me raise them and I am proud of who I am.
My failures and scars just prove I'm human and that God loves me just as I am. I dont have to fake it for God and I love that!! I can be real with who I am when I talk to Him. I will not let anything move me from my foundation! I will not let fear rule my life anymore!

Negativity and rumors and people being fake, it all makes no difference in the end. When you die you take only your soul with you. You have only who you are when you stand before the King and explain your life to Him. Nothing else matters in this world. It will all fade away.

~Jen

Green Eyes 07/02/2012

Green eyes a deep, soft mystery,

You are a new world,

And I just want to be in your galaxy,

Just want to be close to you,

Like a shooting star falling from the sky,

I'm leaving reasoning behind me,

And I'm giving learning to fly a try,

Nothing makes sense as I'm in a place untraveled,

Getting lost in your eyes,

They're the great unknown,

My heart races and as the sun rises,

My promises to be just me has been blown,

I smile as you change my mind,

My direction is unclear but the journey looks fun,

Sometimes its not the destination, but the travels,

That make it worth it and liking you isn't done,

Here I am getting lost in uncertainty,

No answers or questions just living life freely,

What tomorrow brings I will not know,

I'll just watch the present to see the future grow.

~Jen~

Afraid of Falling .... 6/10/12

Hey maybe life isn't simple?

But what am I so afraid of?

I'm clinging to what's comfortable and afraid of jumping into the unknown.

I'm just me trying to figure out how to relax and jump anyways.

Despite the fear,

Despite the risks falling hold,

I find myself happy and for some reason thats scary.

I hide behind who I really am and hide the love I want to show.

What am I doing? Why is this so hard? What am I so scared of?

Maybe I don't want to rush and get burned.

I been hurt so many times and guys just never see me as worthwhile.

I guess I have come to the conclusion to just let them think whatever they want to.

I am just me and I may be scared and self conscious, but hey the right guy will see thru to who I am and will take the time to get to know me for who I really am.

I hope someday that I'll be able to say I'm no longer scared of being left alone.

Abandoned, that word holds me back from jumping off the cliff and letting myself fall.

Will I always be afraid to fall?

~Jen Holton

Freefalling (2) 5/30/12

My heart is a mystery even to me,

I dream of love and other impossibilities,

Alone,

That word scares me,

I should feel free,

Yet its like I cant see,

The hope of tomorrows will be's,

I stand here like a girl clinging to a tree,

I hold fast to reasoning and cant let love just be,

Love is jumping off a cliff and letting go to be,

Freefalling,

Love is free,

                     Fa
                          ll
                             i
                               n
                                 g...
                                        .......
                                                .........

Its a journey that is long, crazy, fun, unstoppable, fast, and slow,

Falling into the unknown its an adrenaline rush of wind and freedom of letting go,

Releasing fears, doubts, and check lists to just letting love be free to flow,

Light all around the lucky two who have found that there just is no saying no,

Like a river love goes where ever it wants to and gives off a glow,

Free falling into the unknown the girl clinging to the tree suddenly lets go and

FLIES!!!

*~*Jen*~*

There She Goes 10/08/11

How did these scars get so deep?

Where is the heart that was beneath?

Never to love again,

She's like a whisper in the wind,

There she goes again,

The girl running from her soul,

There she goes again,

The pain filling her eyes,

No one can come close,

She's like a vapor in the breeze,

There she goes again,

Never close, her love is just a tease,

There goes the girls,

That nobody knows and everyone leaves.

~Jen Holton

Things Everlasting 10/25/09

Things everlasting,

Peace and mystic,

Rivers, forest, a light breeze,

Fairies, stories of cinderella, happily ever after,

Romance movies, novels, puzzles of

Fairytales,

Things everlasting,

Shine no light,

To dancing in walmart, an italian restaurant,

Vineyards by Keuka lake at night,

Things real life has brought to me,

Better then fairytales,

Things everlasting,

In my memory,

A wall by the lake, his truck, dragons, real homemade cooked meals,

Calm, comfortable laughter, love from the widnows of his soul, so alive it can be seen,

Wonders beyond fairytales,

Things everlasting,

My irish cook,

Dancing, smiling, laughing his way into my heart,

Beyond words description, beyond dreams,

Beyond fairytales.

Forever yours, forever mine.

~Jen Holton



Falling 09/08/07

There stands a girl clinging to a dead tree,

Offering no comfort.

Its branches are bare and its roots are dry.

There stands a small girl holding onto a tiny lifeless tree.

The desert she traveled behind her full of memories.

The edge of a cliff in front of her.

Then like a whirlwind he comes, taking the girl & tree and pushing them off the cliff.

Now does she cling to the falling tree, not trusting him to catch her, or does she throw open her arms and freefall?

Falling,

Wind in her face,

Choices to make,

Cling to the past,

Or welcome the unknown,

Arms wide,

Fearless trust,

Falling,

In

Love.

~Jennifer Alexis Holton

Our Calling 12/17/04

Loudly proclaim your faith,

In Jesus Christ our Savior,

Very few are walking straight,

Everyone needs encouragement,

Only don't force them away,

Upon our calling is love,

Tell and show all Jesus' love,

Living in Love will shine through,

Our very being and is a witness,

Upon the Cross was our Savior,

Death could not stop Him,

For He is and was and will always be,

Our Savior is in us so tell someone!

Run a mile for charity and,

Go with your Christian family,

Only action in your knowledge is wisdom,

Don't keep quiet about Salvation!

~JAH

Random little poems 12/17/04

A beautiful cat dots every farmer's grove,
Horses in jems,
Keen, loving mothers,
Nature on painted quiet rivers,
Soft turtledoves upon vacant windowsills,
Exit, yield, zoom.
~JAH

Around my heart,
Is Jesus and my spirit,
Around me is friends.
~JAH

I am
God's daughter now,
I live in the spirit,
I became a Christian six years,
Ago.
~JAH

Someday 09/28/04

(I'm a bit of a dreamer, but oh what dreams!)

It is my dream of someday,

When I find him,

It is my dream of someday,

Him and I, of friendship close,

It is my dream of someday,

A band of metal upon my finger,

It is my dream of someday,

My first kiss at the alter,

It is my dream of someday,

A job, a family, & a life of my own,

It is my dream of someday,

That God says is far away,

It is my dream of someday,

Today, future, & forever, to follow God,

It is my dream of someday,

In heaven with the heavenly Trinity,

It is my dream of someday,

And what a future to look forward to!

---- Jennifer Alexis Holton

Thunderstorm 05/19/04

One day in the past,
I was asleep unaware of the storm,
Coming up exceedingly fast,
Then I was rudely awakened by its rath,
My electronics were going incomparably wild,
And somewhere was a whimper of a child,
I felt the heat of fire as lighting struck a tree nearby,
My stereo was zapped into demo,
As I scolded myself for not writing my wishes in my memo,
The stormclouds effortlessly unleash their terror,
As I listened to the unearthly pounding of the rain,
Thunder, lightning, & pouring rain shook the earth without any gain,
Thunder rumbled & roared as a lightning bolt struck the ground,
I curled up into a ball as yet one more lightning bolt came at first smoothly to a deeply intense to-the-ground fall,
Then as quick as a storm came it stopped as the rain came slowly & barely to a patter leaving the grass flat & dying,
Thunder roared extremely loud in dismay,
Sending me a last warning that he'd be back one day,
Lightning left his message intensely clear and struck the powerlines dead and left me in the dark,
But I was smart & clicked on my flashlight and had the last laugh!

---- Jennifer Alexis Holton

Climbing High! 03/17/03

Climbing high,
To the sky,
Finding ways,
To climb all days,
Happiness!

Don't you know,
It's time to go,
Don't dare stop,
Till you reach the top,
Hope!

Your feet slip,
Then you dare trip,
Then you fall,
Out you call,
Help!

On the ground,
And never found,
Your last breath,
To a nasty death,
Pain!

The cold morn,
In which hawks fly,
The sand keeps,
You so deep,
Sorrow!

And one day!
In late May,
Out they dig,
You not so big,
Shudder!

They all weep,
The coffin seeps,
In that cliff,
Your body stiff,
Tears!

Never again climbing high,
Never again to the sky,
Never again finding ways,
Never again to climb all days,
But your spirit flies,
To clouds & skies!
Sigh!

---- Jennifer Alexis Holton

Forever to Remember 03/13/03

You hold in your hand,

A memory so dear to me,

I looked out my window,

And what did I see,

Poems soon to be held tight,

To paper to never flee,

You read what happened at that very moment,

From many beautiful word in my poetry,

I wrote for forever to remember,

For my soul to run free!

---- Jennifer Alexis Holton

Spring's Song 03/12/03

In the air they dance,

Wings spread wide,

On the ground they prance,

Then away they glide...

---- Jennifer Alexis Holton



Worrywarts Don't Care!! 03/11/03

Those nasty worrywarts are everywhere,

For worrywarts don't care,

Worrywarts are here, near, far, & even in your chair,

For worrywarts don't care,

Worrywarts put the world upon your shoulders,

For worrywarts don't care,

You hold the world stressing what you bare,

For worrywarts don't care,

They twist your mind anyway they dare,

For worrywarts don't care,

In a small cage you go, deep inside their lair,

For worrywarts don't care,

They pull you from family & friends & are anything but fair,

For worrywarts don't care,

They take your secrets you ponder & out they blare,

For worrywarts don't care,

They drive you into a pit & at things you love they tare,

For worrywarts don't care,

Your only way out is by God & prayer,

For worrywarts don't care,

So if you run into a worrywart beware,

For worrywarts don't care!!

---- Jennifer Alexis Holton

One For All & All For One! 02/11/03

Black, brown, red, orange, yellow, white,

All pull together for one fight,

Whether with sight and hearing,

Or deaf and blind,

With freedom and independence in mind,

They run the terrorists to the ground,

With one mighty blow and pound!!

---- Jennifer Alexis Holton

My Secret World 11/04/02

I see the most wonderful places,

Birds sing all day long & the sun never sets,

I dance with angels who every day see His face,

The morning fairies prance over the waters,

Over the hills smiles the sun from space,

The orange clouds & pinks sky sings with the birds,

To see such wonder would be better than any nature walk or race,

Though through my poems you can see, My Secret World!!

---- Jennifer Alexis Holton



Earth, Our Home 11/01/02

The "Great Sphere" slowly turns to see the stars around him,

He wears green shoes, white pants, & blue shoes,

He softly hums with the wind's tunes & hymns,

He bathes himself in the "Great Fireball" & the "Little Mirror's" light to heal his hurts,

He plays with the little ants in his shoes & watches them build cities.

---- Jennifer Alexis Holton

I'd like to Have a Friend 10/31/02

I'd like to have a friend, who cares about me & never calls me names,

I'd like to have a friend, who I can share everything with,

I'd like to have a friend, who doesn't put me last on her friend list,

I'd like to have a friend, who doesn't believe in witchcraft & myths,

I'd like to have a friend, who believes in Him!!

---- Jennifer Alexis Holton

ME 10/29/02

I like lakes, ponds, & rivers,

I like bushes, forests, & a lee,

I like hamsters, mice, & Mia,

I like nick-knacks, flowers, & anything free,

I dislike anger, yelling, & screaming,

I dislike fights, arguements, & unflavored tea,

I dislike name calling, showing off, & menaces,

I dislike swinging, golf balls, & the hot Florida key!

----- Jennifer Alexis Holton